OUT OF CONTROL

This 40x40 bad boy cost $97.66 . . . I would not like to share a bathroom with the person who eats this!!!
I'm sick just looking at this. . . Look at the chesse ozzing out of the sides!!!
PS they don't make these anymore. . . I WONDER WHY!

HoW bLeSsEd We ArE aNd MaY wE nEvEr FoRgEt

Most of you know that my job is pretty hard and I see a lot of things that most people couldn't handle. For me I saw the hardest thing this week. Something that just ripped at my heart. For those of you who don't know what I do, I work for Child Protective Services (I investigate child abuse and neglect and determine the safety of children and then determine if they can stay in their home or need to be removed). But what i saw is not something that happened at the begging but something that happened after the child were removed.
In this case it was 6 kids that had been removed from there home over 2 years ago. The mother and father have used drugs through most of their lives and because of the drug use this has caused neglect on their part. The children where removed and the Judge ordered them to work a case plan. A case plan is created to help create a safe environment for the children and teach the parents how to keep this environment safe. Every 6 months the family goes in front of the Judge and report there progress. This particular family would work and work and continue to fail to keep off drugs and create and maintain a safe environment. After a year of a child being in foster care it is mandated by federal law to go forth with termination of parental rights. In civil court this is seen as the civil death penalty. YOU LOSE YOUR KIDS AND YOU KIDS LOSE ANY TIES TO ANY FAMILY THEY MAY OF ONCE HAD AND THE KIDS BECOME A WARD TO THE STATE. . ITS PRETTY SAD!
The parents do have another option and they can relinquish there rights which is pretty much the same thing but instead of a Judge finding you an unfit parent you sign your rights away! There is a catch . . . if a Judge terminates and you later have another child and there is abuse or neglect that is found, and the child has to be removed from the home, the state does not have to work with the family and the Judge will immediately make the child a ward to the state. (Man this is taking a long time to explain this but stay with me).
So at the last court hearing with this family the Judge gave the parents a chance to relinquish or terminate rights. The family choice to relinquish their rights. A relinquishment is a lot of paper work and needs at least two social work witnesses (that do not includes the social worker that was the case manager) and a notary. The paper work has to be written with certain words and each document has to have original signatures on each one. (In this case with 6 kids we all had to sign over 160 times on numerous documents, that's how serious this is) As the paper work was read to these parents that these 6 children would no longer be theirs, that they no longer had any rights or say in anything that happened with these children again, They were asked to sign. To sign away all rights, all power, all connection to these 6 children that for the last 14 plus years they have loved and somewhat cared and shaped and had a relationship with, to sign to no longer be part of this and to no longer be part of these kids life. Before they signed these words were reminded to these people THAT THIS IS A IRREVOCABLE DOCUMENT, that once these are signed this can not be undone. As i thought what that really meant; my heart sunk. . . NOT only for these parents but for these children. YES this is a better life for these kids but growing up knowing that your parents gave you up because they couldn't give drugs up (which all these kids know). That is just heart breaking.
Now this is not my first relinquishment (which is sad) but I have never experienced one like this. One so empty, so lifeless, so emotionless. I think what broke my heart the most was the parents. Their expression was nothing. They carried on conversation like we were having a lunch-in. They cared more about how long it would take. No tears, no guilt, no nothing. Not even joy that their kids will be in a better home. It was hard for me to see these two people who made choices to have these 6 beautiful children and then choice something so worldly and so selfish. As I continued to sit and watch these parents I could tell that they didn't fully understand what they were doing or had done.
The Spirit took over from there and I immediately became thankful for my parents for my family. How blessed I am. Then the shame and the guilt came. All those times that I thought my life was bad that I wished I had another family. How SELFISH of me, how naive of me. I will forever remember this experience in my life. I will forever remember how I felt that day. How blessed we are to have what we have. To have the family that we have. To be safe, to be loved, to be cared and protected by people who love us and people who put us first and above their own needs, desires and selfishness. I hope I never forget that, and as I start having my own children I pray that i remember this, I hope i remember to tell my children that i love them every day but not only tell them but show them, to put their needs high on my list, to give them that safe comfortable place where they can call home, where they can grow and know of their worth and value. Where they can have that example of love and kindness and truly know what it means to be safe and cared for. May i be so lucky to find a man that will put our kids on his high priority list. I hope we all remember who we are and how loved and blessed we are to be were and with who we have!
Now I'm sure most of you wonder how and why I do what I do. . . I don't know sometimes how I do it. I just know that the Lord helps me and he gets me through this. I love my job and while its hard and I see things that no person should have to see or live through. . . I can't help but know that God has prepared me to do this. That this is one of my callings on this earth, and while i find it hard and draining I know that this shapes me and makes me a better person. I know I wouldn't be who i am or where I am in my life today with out these experiences. Everyday I thank Heavenly Father for the reminder of the good life i have for the knowledge i have and most of all for the opportunity to help these children have a better life, to help teach these parents how to be better parents and to make there home a safe and loving place. I don't regret this job for one moment!

CAN'T BELIEVE IT

So I'm in Utah for the weekend visiting Family. . . and I can't believe how much it feels like home to me! How much I just want to be up here! Its kinda crazy because I am so NOT a Utah girl at all, and to be honest Utah people (not all but a good amount of them) bother me (nothing personal to people from Utah or who love it. Its more a personal reason for myself)! Before i know it i will be living here. But I'm the type of person once I get here i will want to be somewhere else!!!! But for now I better get my butt in gear, I have a lot to do!

Pay it forward

My Friend Amanda posted this and I really like the pay it forward idea!!! I already know what my gift is going to be and its going to be AMAZING

The Rules
1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me - something crafty or yummy, who knows?!
2. Winners must post this challenge on their blog, meaning that they will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift -anything!- for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on their post about this giveaway!
3. The gift that you send to your friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!
4. When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate pictures and comments!If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Go ahead and start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!SO, REMEMBER…Pay it forward

Secret Confession

So I have a confession. . . This may be hard for some to hear, I know it was and sometimes still is for me! I LOVE WORKING OUT WHILE LISTENING TO KATY PERRY. . . and I even find myself turning it up when she comes on the radio! I have HATED (and yes i know that is a strong word but) I HATED her and her stupid I kissed a girl song. I found it in my head all the time and the words were just, well kinda creepy! After some research and listening to her album i have found a good 7 songs that I like and I LOVE WORKING out to her, she keeps me going. What can I say I must give credit where credit is due! It totally took me off guard and shocked me!!!!

WHO ME?

So I had a really cool experience at the GYM the other day. . . yes I'm having cool experiences at that place you exercise. ANYWAYS. . . I got to the GYM way early due to having to flex some time off at work. I never go at 2:30 so I don't usually spend my exercise time with the people that where there this day. I was a little bit out of my comfort zone, with new people and all, but went on with my exercise program like it didn't bother me one bit. I always start out with a 30 min cardio on the elliptical. This has become my FAVORITE thing. I love the elliptical i could spend an hour on this thing and not get bored. Since it was Monday it was my intense day so i was on a level 3 and my goal was to burn 375 Calories and go 2.5 miles in 30 min. I usually only get about 2 miles in 30 min so i knew i would have to push a little bit more today but i was OK with that. I did my thing, with a little uneasiness due to this amazing looking women in her late 30's staring at me for half my work out. I was a little self conscious . . . Maybe i was singing out loud again and didn't realize it. . . Maybe i was breathing really heavy and she thought i was going to die. . . or maybe i had boogies. After taken my headphones out a few times and checking my nose i was finally finished with my 30 min cardio. I was feeling so good i burned 400 calories, went just under 3 miles and was sweating like there was no tomorrow. It was an amazing start to my work out. As i went to the ab machine this lady who was looking at me for half my work out, who was now with her trainer, walked up to me and said "I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU YOUR MY HERO WHEN IT COMES TO THAT BEAST (pointing to the elliptical). I hate that thing so much and you just spent half an hour on it. YOUR MY HERO." I didn't know what to say so i said thank you and kind of looked down. I didn't know what to do no one has ever complimented me like that before, not when it comes to exercising. Then her trainer was like i know i see you do that all the time. I haven't seen anyone as intense as you on the elliptical. GOOD JOB keep at it." I felt so good after that. I always felt like i was so average on it or a wimp for only being able to do half an hour. BUT I GUESS NOT, SINCE NOW I'M A HERO!!!!!!

RANDOM THINGS ABOUT KIRI

Just a few fun things. I did this on facebook as well but i put so much work into it that i thought it really needed to be in my BLOGG. . .

1. I hate chocolate, unless it involves nuts or its white (even white chocolate I have to be in the mood for).
2. I hate having my picture taken but I take my camera everywhere.
3. I’m half Australian (born in Australia and my mom is Australian), half New Zealand (my dad is New Zealand) and have lived the majority of my life in American and Japan.
4. I have a place for everything and if I don’t I must not need it!
5. Laughing is my favorite thing to do!
6. I have about 5 journals, a journal I should write in everyday (which I don’t), a travel journal, a quote journal, a food journal, and then a journal I use for General conference/scripture study.
7. I just got into reading. . . . I hated reading as a child and I still am not the biggest fan of it but I still do it. I only love it when I can find a book that keeps me going. BUT I LOVE LEARNING!
8. I hate history, I hate learning about it but at the same time it’s something I wish I knew more about. (which is funny because my mom is a major world history buff)
9. I hate politics. I could never marry someone who wants to talk about politics all the time. I don’t mind learning about it and stuff but I hate listening to people discuss it and I refuse to get into any kind of debate about it.
10. I can’t vote. I am not a US citizen. I do plan to become one but I’m not one at this time.
11. I love to organize, I love spring cleaning. In fact I do a fall and a spring cleaning. I love being organized and I love helping others organize.
12. IKEA is one of my favorite stores for a few reasons . . . 1. It’s a store revolved around being organized, 2 best down comforters ever!
13. ! Is my favorite punctuation to use. I use it way too much and sometimes in place of a question mark by mistake. I have had to refrain from using it at work because it’s not that professional.
14. I love clean laundry and I love doing my laundry. I hate folding it but love putting it away. There is nothing better than clean sheets. The first night sleeping in them and then the next morning waking up to them and the smell of clean is priceless to me.
15. I love shoes. . . . There is nothing like a new pair of shoes. OOO and new socks.
16. I HATE FEET. I think they are ugly, I hate touching them and I hate people touching mine unless I pay them to.
17. I am really really shy. Sometimes I’m not in a large group when I know people. (but I hate large groups so it doesn’t happen very often).
18. I hate milk but crave it sometimes.
19. I just joined the GYM and have found out I like working out (never had before).
20. I love movie popcorn the next day. . . that’s right I love day old popcorn. I also love to put things in my popcorn like M&M’s, Junior mints (not my fav but sometimes I like them) and other stuff.
21. Q-Tips are THE BEST INVENTION EVER. I can’t not have a Q-Tip, I have them in my desk and in my purse. I love cleaning my ears it’s something that makes me happy.
22. I want to get married even though it scares me.
23. IM THE WORST SPELLER EVER!!!! IM NOT JOKING!
24. Family and Friends mean the most to me. I would do anything for any of them. I value friendship a lot.
25. I love to travel but not on my own but not in large groups.
26. I love balancing my checkbook.